To Be Lazy
by obsidianLight16
Summary: Sasori tried to help Deidara when it came to his hot chocolate addiction, but now the tables are turned. Deidara worries for his friend's laziness as he tries to get the others in their apartment to help with this problem. Modern AU


**A/N: Sequel to 'Easier Said Than Done'. Both are fairly long but... as long as you enjoy reading it I don't mind :)**

**Warning: Language, slight character OOC, violence, etc...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. (Why do people make me have to admit that...? -_-)**

**Modern Day AU. **

* * *

><p><strong>Thursday <strong>**1:23 AM **

**July 6th**

* * *

><p>"Okay...so there's something that's been bothering me un..." Deidara worriedly said, his face twisted up into frustration. The nineteen year old artist had dark bags under his eyes from lack of sleep and was practically draping over the kitchen table he sat at half-dead. His long hair was out and splayed across his bare shoulders, seeing as he was wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants.<p>

"Why is it...that every time someone has a problem in this house...they wake us all up at one in the goddamn morning!" Hidan yelled from his spot across the table. "Dammit!" He banged his head on the placemat in front of him, silver hair mussed and falling into his eyes. It was blistering hot in the stuffy apartment, and being woken up by an alarm clock to the head for no apparent reason wasn't making his heat-depleted mood any better. This was also the reason why every single male in the household that morning were wearing no shirts.

"Don't shout," Kisame soothingly said. Although it came out sounding more like a growl than anything else. Let it be known that Hoshigaki Kisame was _not _a morning person. He had to go to work in a few hours, having been called on an early shift. And wasting his sleeping time surrounded by a bunch of annoyed men and a woman was not the ideal image he wanted to dream of.

"Don't tell me what to fucking do!" Hidan shouted at him.

"I'll do what I want!" Kisame shouted back.

"Both of you shut up before I get angry," Itachi muttered from in between the two. His hair was tied up in a messy bun, unstraightened once again and too wild to leave in a normal ponytail. He had automatically known something was up with his blonde roommate when the kid refused to go to sleep and sat up in his bed staring at the wall. And now he was suffering the consequences for not simply knocking the artist out so he _couldn't _drag them all out here.

Deidara watched the three of them with groggy eyes and then released a really obnoxious sigh that could have woken a hibernating bear. "It's just really horrible!" he cried out. "I can't live my life knowing things have gotten this bad un!"

"Hold on a second, calm down," Pein said, looking surprised at the outburst. "You're not going into depression are you?" he asked in concern. Sure the artist had been wandering the apartment like a zombie for the past few days, but it couldn't have escalated to something so big in such a short amount of time! As the 'head' of the apartment, it was his duty to ensure that everyone was happy.

A duty he was currently failing at.

"This isn't about me!" Deidara exclaimed, a baffled look on his face. "I really have no complaints you know."

"Then get to the point," Hidan ground out.

Deidara rolled his eyes at the older man and then gave everyone a serious look. "This is about Sasori."

"Sasori?" Konan lifted a brow and crossed her arms. "What could possibly be wrong with _that _guy?" She wore a tang top and shorts that were close to not being shorts. But she really didn't care at the moment _how _high up her pants were. It was like a damn suana in the kitchen. Her pinned blue hair was beginning to friz. And when the hair frizzed...she was not a happy camper.

Not a happy camper at all.

Much like the last time she had been woken up.

"Last time it was Sasori waking us up about you," Zetsu muttered. "Now it's you waking us up about him. I swear...if I end up in Itachi's car again..." The man was slumped on the table, one elbow propping him up and mouth open for unformed saliva to drip through. He was tired and hot and didn't like to think about rolling backwards down a parking lot for the sake of someone else in this crazy house.

"What can I say?" Deidara gave a half shrug. "We're best friends un."

"I thought _I_ was your best friend," Madara said.

"Most definitely not," Deidara grumbled in his direction.

Madara rolled his eyes, leaning back from the table. "Whatever kid." He wasn't wearing a dress since Konan had put a padlock on her closet, but managed to get one of her bras. He was now wearing the lacy article of clothing along with boxers and a scarf. He wasn't going to lie. It was oddly comfortable...

Kakuzu, trying _not _to be disturbed by the short-haired brunette beside him, flicked his bright eyes over to the blonde man who had summoned him and said, "So get to it. What is this 'big' problem that couldn't wait until the sun was _actually _in the sky?" His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and knotted as it was, it was off the nape of his neck and therefore wasn't bothering him with the heat like Konan's and Itachi's. Now the sweatpants he wore was a different problem altogether...

"Okay...I know this may come as a shock to some of you..." Deidara slowly began. "But Sasori is... he's..."

"He's...?" Konan stared at him.

Deidara looked away. "He's..."

Itachi sighed. "He's...?"

"He's..."

"Oh my fucking God-" Hidan deadpanned. "Get to it already blondie!"

Deidara huffed at him and then folded his arms across his sweat-covered chest. "He's lazy!" he finally shouted.

"..."

Everyone blinked at the artist. "_Ummmmm..." _

"Why does someone have to build up suspense every time and then say something like that?" Kakuzu muttered to himself.

"We already know that's Sasori is lazy," Pein told the blonde. "I don't see what the problem is, or why you woke me from my pleasant slumber."

"Pleasant slumber?" Kisame questioned with his brows raised. "Really Pein?"

"Shut up."

"Where is Sasori anyway?" Itachi asked under his breath, glancing around as if the redhead would magically appear.

Deidara frowned at him. "Still in bed. He's too lazy to get up unless he wants to do something on his own time hmm. It's ridiculous I tell you!"

"You're the one that's ridiculous Iwa," Itachi grumbled.

"I'm telling you it's a serious problem Uchiha!" Deidara shouted at him.

"Enough bickering you two," Konan snapped.

"Seriously. I can hear you two all the way through the walls," Sasori mumbled.

Deidara harrumphed. "Oh shut up."

"..."

"..."

Everyone blinked and then jumped out of their seats in surprise. "_Shit!" _

Sasori stared at them through half-lidded eyes, resting his chin on a palm. "'Sup."

"S-S-Sasori-" Hidan stuttered out, his eyes wide. "When the _fuck _did you get here?"

And _where _are your _clothes_?" Pein said, staring at the quite naked thirty-five year old.

"It's too hot to wear clothes," the man casually replied. "As for when I got here...I'd say about five minutes ago."

Deidara took a way seat next to his claimed best friend, staring at him in minute horror. Though whether it was from the lack of clothing or his sudden appearance, he wasn't sure. "How much of our conversation did you hear un?"

"You mean you guys were actually talking about something?" Sasori asked, blinking owlishly.

Kisame smacked a palm to his face.

"Kidding." Sasori grinned, drapping an arm around the blonde's shoulder as he stared at the other occupants in the room. "Look- you guys don't have to be so worried about me."

"We're not," Zetsu grumbled.

Sasori ignored him in favor of laughing loudly, effectively pissing off the half of the group that still had a part of their brain in sleep-mode. He smirked at their obvious annoyance- if the growls they released had anything to do with it. "It's nice to know you care about my well-being. But I'm just a lazy kind of guy. Always have been. No matter what you guys do, I can't be changed." He stood from his chair, patting Deidara on the head before waving at everyone else and leaving the kitchen, humming obnoxiously as he did so.

Kakuzu felt his teeth grind in aggravation. "So...annoying..."

"I want...to go...to sleep..." Kisame grumbled, resting his head on the table.

"I say we hang the fucker by his toes on the roof!" Hidan exclaimed. "That oughta teach him a lesson!"

"Here, here," Konan monotoned.

"You can think about killing him later," Deidara mumbled, drawing the attention of everyone else on him once again. "Sasori said he couldn't be changed un. But I'm willing to bet he can- once he sees how far hard work can take a person. He needs to get out of that negative mindset before it's too late!"

"So what do you have- a plan or something?" Itachi sarcastically asked.

Deidara shot him a dark glare. "Actually, I do."

"Oh great," Madara mumbled.

"Hey un!"

Pein rolled his eyes, pushing himself back from the table with an exasperated sigh. "I choose to not partake in this. We all saw how crazy Deidara got without his hot chocolate, and I refuse to go through that again. Who _knows _what Sasori's capable of?"

Konan glanced at him. "We wouldn't know because we've never seen him do anything other than sit around and read a book."

"Exactly!" Deidara clapped his hands together. "Don't you want to see what he can do? It'll be worth it un!"

The group exchanged an unsure glance with one another and then looked at the blonde artist with sudden attentiveness.

"It'll be worth it you say huh...?" Kakuzu murmured, leaning forward a bit.

Deidara eagerly nodded, his visible eye gleaming in excitement. "Definitely. I want you guys to see what I'm talking about for the next few days. So here's what we'll do..."

Pein just sat far away, shaking his head as he rolled his eyes.

These idiots were getting themselves into far more trouble than necessary. And their curiosity would make them pay...

Good thing he wasn't getting involved.

* * *

><p><strong>Thursday 7:25 AM<strong>

**July 6th**

* * *

><p>Itachi rolled over in his bed, snarling under his breath with the sheets pulled over his head.<p>

No one except Sasori had gone to sleep until five in the morning, and while they would have _loved _to stay in and sleep all day- everyone _but _Sasori had work to go to within the next two hours.

And not only that, but Deidara's alarm clock had yet to stop its insistant blaring.

Itachi threw his covers off his head, glaring fiercely at the blonde who was hanging upside-down off his bed with his mouth open and drool trickling out from the corner. The dark-haired man stood from his bed with a flourish, took note of Kisame and Hidan who had stuffed their pillows over their head, and then brought back his foot to kick the artist in his bare chest.

The blonde's eyes popped open as he tumbled off his bed and onto the floor. "What the hell!" he shouted in alarm.

Itachi picked up the beeping alarm clock and then smashed it on top of the younger man's head.

Deidara fell to the ground, clearly unconscious.

Hidan slowly took the pillow off of his face, staring at Itachi and then to the blonde lying in an awkward heap on their floor. "Holy shit I think you killed him."

"Good riddance," Itachi muttered, exiting the room to wash his face in the bathroom and get ready for work.

Hidan rolled his eyes and forced himself out of bed so he could rummage through the dresser all four of them shared. He pulled out a pair of Kisame's shorts and an old black beater, knowing the color would kill him in the heat, but also not caring enough to find a different shirt. "They better bring ice cream today or I'm fucking leaving..."

Kisame groggily looked at him, face halfway in his pillow. "Your job gives you _ice cream_?"

"Shut up!" Hidan yelled for no reason, shoving his shirt over his shoulders. "At least social services feeds me some sort of food. All the people on the weather channel do is drink stupid coffee!"

"We get pastries too..." Kisame mumbled, turning his face fully into his pillow. He was doing the afternoon show, so he could afford a few more hours of sleep.

"Bloody hell where am I!" Deidara shouted, suddenly sitting up.

Kisame groaned to himself. A few more hours of sleep which he was _obviously _not going to get.

Hidan scowled in the blonde's direction. "You're on the _floor _dumbass. Now hurry up and get changed or else Itachi's gonna leave you behind and you'll be stuck riding the goddamn bus."

"Why do you care?" Deidara muttered, delicately touching the back of his head which for some reason had a giant welt.

"I don't," Hidan muttered back, grabbing his car keys of the top of the dresser before walking towards the bedroom door. "I just don't want to hear your complaining when you get back from Uni." He stepped to the side and paused as Itachi walked back into the room, hair straightened with a pair of glasses in his hand.

"You left these on the sink Dei," Itachi said, handing the frames to the blonde climbing to his feet.

Deidara took the glasses with a muttered thanks before shoving them on his face. He blinked several times and then walked straight into Itachi's chest.

With an exasperated sigh and irritated expression, Itachi pushed Deidara away from him and poked him on the forehead. "You need to get new lenses. We'll go after I pick you up this afternoon from your classes."

"I don't need new lenses!" Deidara angrily exclaimed before turning sharply on his heel and tripping over his broken alarm clock.

Itachi scoffed and then went to change into a work shirt and slacks. "Yeah okay. Idiot..."

"Idiot yourself!" Deidara yelled, opting to crawl out their bedroom door than get up and risk falling again.

"Stop shouting..." Kisame mumbled from across the room.

"Shut up Kisame!"

"Little brat," Kisame sat up, chucking his pillow at the artist. He missed and blanched as it smacked Itachi upside the head.

Itachi halted in his actions of buttoning his pants, narrowing his eyes at the older man.

"It was an accident!" Kisame cried, looking frightened of the dark-haired man's wrath.

"You just have horrible aim as always hmm."

"Shut it Deidara!"

"Don't try and divert attention from yourself," Itachi darkly muttered at Kisame.

Who promptly buried himself beneath his covers.

Deidara snickered loudly and started to inch his way out the doorway when a foot slammed down onto his back.

"Where do you think _you're _going Iwa?"

"Ow! Get off of me Uchiha!"

Hidan rolled his eyes as the pair began to bicker, choosing to head down the hallway to the kitchen for breakfast rather than listen in.

Something smelled good- which meant either Pein was up, or someone actually got Kakuzu to let them buy breakfast from the Waffle House.

Hidan highly doubted it was the second one.

~X~

Over in the bedroom across the hall, it was several times quieter.

Kakuzu was typing away on his laptop at their desk, occasionally stopping to knot the tie around his neck which he had been working on for the last fifteen minutes. He had forgotten all about reviewing his client's lawsuit the night before, being occupied with other matters like his housemates apparent issues. Now he was paying for his lack of attention.

"Don't look so stressed," Madara sat from where he sat on his bed, making a reef out of flower petals.

Kakuzu glanced at him, his brow unintentionally quirking. "I'm not even going to question you," he grumbled.

"I stopped doing that a long time ago," Zetsu said, making a twig crown before placing it on top of his head and staring at the older man.

"You're practically doing the same thing!" Kakuzu roared at him. He took in a deep breath, rubbing his brow in exhaustion. "You know what- nevermind. I have to get going or else I'll miss an important meeting between clients," he said, getting out of his desk chair and shutting the lid of his computer.

"Be careful not to overwork yourself," Sasori said in an amused voice from where he was leaning against his headboard and skimming through a magazine. "You should relax once in a while."

Kakuzu sighed heavily. "I don't want to hear that from you," he uttered under his breath, packing up his laptop in his briefcase before snatching his car keys off of Zetsu's coat rack. He grumbled something that could have been an innocent goodbye or death wish on them all and then left the room, raising a brow when he saw Itachi trying to pull the sheets off Kisame's head and Deidara lying knocked out on the floor through the open door of their bedroom.

He ignored them for his sanity's sake, wandering to the kitchen where he could hear Hidan and Konan arguing over Pein's last pancake.

"It's mine bitch!"

"Back off! You don't even like blueberry!"

"I do now!"

Kakuzu stepped into the doorway and stopped as two pairs of eyes shot daggers into his head.

Pein looked over at him with his brows raised from where he was at the stove with an apron and pair of jeans on. "Don't worry, I'm making more now. Are you going to stick around or head out for work?" he asked, noticing the defensive stance Kakuzu had lowered himself into.

Kakuzu harrumphed. "I'll just grab something on my way there," he grouched. "Thanks anyway."

"Sure." Pein turned his attention back to the stove, humming lightly. "Is Sasori up yet?"

"He is." Kakuzu turned around, shaking his head to himself. "But don't count on him coming out anytime soon..."

~X~

"Hey Sasori," Madara called, intertwining his flower reef with seashell pieces.

The redhead looked up at him.

"You wanna join us?" Madara asked.

"It's actually pretty occupying," Zetsu mumbled from where he now sat beside the brunette on his bed, picking through a bag of beads.

Sasori smiled and looked back down at his magazine. "No thanks. It's too far away."

Madara blinked. "You only have to walk three feet," he said.

"Three feet too much," Sasori mumbled, flipping a page.

Madara stared at him for a few seconds in silence and then glanced at Zetsu who was looking at the redhead in minor disbelief.

It seemed as if Deidara was right.

Sasori's laziness was starting to get serious.

* * *

><p><strong>Friday 12:32 PM<strong>

**July 7th**

* * *

><p>Sasori calmly sat at the kitchen table, reading through a book he had read five times already. It was pretty good and had great death scenes, so he wasn't complaining. The apartment was empty, everyone having left for work well over five hours ago, and now he had the whole place to himself. He'd never admit it aloud, but being by himself was actually kind of lonely. Of course he enjoyed being alone at times- but now he wanted someone to bother!<p>

In front of him was a freshly made cup of coffee. He'd gotten Pein to make it for him before the man left the apartment, but had never gotten around to actually drinking any of it. His brown eyes flickered from the page he was skimming, to the glass mug, and then back down again. Finally when the temptation had gotten to be too much and his throat was starting to dry out, he made a grab from the cup.

And missed.

Sasori raised a brow and stretched out his arm, finding the handle of the mug to be right at his fingertips. Of course this was without him leaning forward. He didn't feel like drinking coffee anymore if it meant shifting his back out of its comfortable position.

So he went back to reading.

And then Deidara walked into the kitchen, his right ankle bandaged and a gruff look on his face. He stopped muttering under his breath to look at Sasori in surprise. "What are you doing here?" he asked, limping over to the table and sitting across from him.

Sasori raised a brow and smirked, closing his book and setting it down beside him. "I should be asking you that. But there is something else that intrigues me at the moment."

"Like what un?"

"Your wardrobe."

The blonde seemed to visibly bristle at this, a scowl coming onto his features. "Kisame thought it would be funny to hide all of my clothes and then Madara stuck this on my head hmm..." he grumbled, their forest green shower curtain wrapped around his body like a tunic with a crown of leaves and berries on top his hair. Which had been forcibly let down.

Sasori slowly blinked. And then burst out into tiny snickers. "You're such a loser."

"Shut the hell up!" Deidara snapped, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at the older man with a narrowed eye. "I thought you had work today."

"I did..." Sasori trailed off, eyes moving onto his coffee cup again. Talking too much had made him thirsty. And now...

"Well un?"

"I called in sick."

Deidara gaped at him. "B-But why? You're obviously _not_."

"I didn't feel like getting in my car and driving." Sasori's brows lowered a bit as an annoying scratching in the back of his throat started up."Do you have any idea how much work that takes? And pressing the gas pedals...don't get me started on that."

The artist released a heavy sigh. "Unbelievable..."

"Enough about me. Aren't you supposed to be at the Uni right now?" Sasori questioned, giving in and reaching for his cup of coffee again.

Deidara shrugged. "I'm not going today. I fell down the stairs and broke my glasses and now they won't let me come back until I either wear contacts on a daily basis or buy new lenses un. Weren't you wondering why Itachi had to carry me in yesterday?"

"Not really. I was in my room. And I thought you were supposed to get lenses anyway," Sasori said, dropping his arm when he realized his coffee mug was too far out of reach.

"Hidan's getting them today," Deidara muttered, eyeing the redhead's steaming beverage. "You're not going to drink that?"

Sasori heaved his arms a bit. "It's a bit too far out of my range."

"It's right in front of you."

"My arm won't reach."

"..."

"..."

Deidara brought a palm to his face in aggravation. "Argh! Sasori!"

Sasori frowned at him, furrowing his brows slightly. "Well what's up with you?"

"You! You're the problem!" Deidara exasperatedly said, staring at the older man. "I mean- has your laziness gotten to a point where you won't even pick up a cup of coffee un? Which is your favorite drink?"

Sasori allowed a lazy smile to spread across his face, leaning back in his chair. "Coffee isn't my favorite drink brat. Everyone knows it's cranberry juice."

"That's not the point..." Deidara muttered in a defeated voice, dropping his head onto the table.

* * *

><p><strong>Saturday 7:31 AM<strong>

**July 8th**

* * *

><p>When Sasori woke up, he found that the oddest thing had happened to him in his sleep.<p>

Someone had tied his arms to his bedpost.

Sasori blinked, eyeing the poorly tied knot holding him in place. Sure he could have undone the rope- but that would require a lot of shifting around and chafing his fingers. Besides, it was too early in the morning. Who the hell would get up at this time just to tie him up.

"Sasori."

The redhead lifted a brow, bringing his gaze to the three men standing in front of him. "Oh- good morning to you too."

Madara sternly stared at him, hands on his hips. He was still in his night clothes which consisted of plaid pants and a plain white shirt. "Morning. Do you know why you're tied up?" he asked.

"No." Sasori looked at Zetsu and Kakuzu who were standing on either side of the short-haired brunette. "I don't suppose any of you would mind un-tying me, would you?"

"We're not going to help you," Kakuzu grumbled, folding his arms across his naked chest. "You're going to get yourself out or else you'll lie there all day and night."

"...What if I can't untie the knot?" Sasori challenged.

"Then you're an idiot because we had Deidara tie it," Zetsu mumbled, dressed similar to Madara.

Sasori nodded his head in slight defeat. The blonde couldn't tie a shoe-string to save his life. Now that he thought about it...maybe he should get one of the other's in the apartment to teach Deidara before he ended up in a life or death situation dealing with rope.

"So- are you going to untie yourself or not?" Madara questioned.

Sasori stared at them for a while in silence.

And then started to laugh, slumping down as best as possible on his mattress and closing his eyes.

"I guess I'll be here all day and night then," he sniggered. "Any of you want to bring me my breakfast?"

All three men brought a hand to their face.

"Dammit..."

* * *

><p><strong>Sunday 5:55 PM<strong>

**July 9th**

* * *

><p>Pein sat in their apartment's fairly-sized living room, lounging on the only couch inside while staring at the television in front of him. His brow was twitching uncontrollably. But whether it was because of the three other people on the couch with him or the fact that the T.V. was playing the same commercial on an endless loop, was unknown.<p>

_"-Buy our product~ It's positively, absolutely, fantastically, amazing-" _

"Shut the hell up!" Hidan roared, chucking the remote at the screen. "My fuckin' GOD I think I've lost my brain cells!"

"Can't lose what you never had," Kisame grumbled from his crushed position in between the silver-haired man and Pein.

Hidan gave him a heavy glare. "Wanna say that again?" He was sweating bullets, and being in a close proximity on a couch full of equally sweating dudes was causing the body heat between them to rise. It was uncomfortable, annoying, and he had the strong urge to wipe his arm on Kisame's face.

"No thanks," Kisame huffed, looking off to the side. Like Hidan, he wasn't in the best of moods. The commerical was still repeating its aggravating and overly happy theme song and his work pants were sticking to his legs. He wouldn't be surprised if he was stuck to the _sofa _at this rate. The fact that his back was practically plastered to the leather seat he was pressed up against wasn't exactly helping.

"Oh come on you guys un," Deidara scowled, annoyed at the shouting going on by his ear and his new glasses which had even thicker frames than his last pair. "Why don't you fight where no one can hear you idiots?"

Hidan and Kisame both turned nasty stares onto the blonde artist.

"Hey- who do you think you're talking too?" Hidan growled.

"Respect your elders kid," Kisame snapped.

"I will when you two start acting your damn age," Deidara muttered, staring at the wall above the television to avoid seeing the same image on the screen that had been there for the past fifteen minutes. The apartment hadn't gotten any cooler in the summer heat, which would explain the scarce amount of clothing on his body and his prissy mood. But not only that- he was still angry at Kisame for hiding his clothes in what he later discovered to be the oven. Now he was stuck wearing Itachi's shorts, seeing as the dark-haired man was the one who wore clothing in his same size.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kisame said, expression changing from pissed to challenging. "If you have a problem we can take it outside."

Hidan barked out a laugh. "Maybe you should stay inside so no one can see the embarrassing defeat blondie will fuckin' deal to you," he taunted.

Kisame grabbed the younger man into a rough headlock, beginning to noogie him. "Repeat that louder will you?"

"Oi! Hands fucking off man!"

Deidara rolled his eyes. "_Ugh_ un."

Pein ignored the bickering that was taking place to the right of him in favor of looking at his 'wife' who had just stomped into the room. "What's wrong?" he asked with a raised brow. It was rare that Konan ever got truly angry. And right now her pale face was a mix of fury and concern.

"I just came from Sasori's room," Konan ground out, coming to stand in front of the T.V. none of them were really watching.

"Oh really?" Pein tried to lean forward in interest, but found one of his shoulder's trapped behind a tousling Kisame and Hidan. He narrowed his eyes and attempted to get off of the couch.

All he really succeeded in doing was making the other three on the leather furniture even more annoyed than they already were.

"Quit moving!"

"What the fuck are you trying to do?"

"Could all of you _shut the hell up _un!"

Pein shot them all scathing looks and then turned his attention to Konan who was getting grumpier by the passing second. "What did you see in Sasori's room?" he questioned once he regained his bearings.

Konan crossed her arms and pursed her lips. "All three of his roommates trying to pull him out of his bed," she tightly said.

"...He hasn't gotten out of it since yesterday?" Pein asked in bewilderment.

"Apparently not," Konan harrumphed. "This is getting ridiculous Pein. He's a thiry-five year old man who gets pleasure screwing with our heads and making us do all the work around here. Something is _clearly _wrong with this picture!" she exclaimed, finding herself getting fired up. "I mean- he's not even going to work anymore!"

Pein frowned, looking deep in thought. Obviously this problem had progressed into something more troublesome than he expected. And it was taking its toll on the others living in the apartment as well. They were normally a crazed group- but with Sasori adding to the chaos, they had all gone berserk!

As if on cue, Hidan and Kisame fell off the couch- the former punching the latter all the while singing along to the theme song of the commercial playing in the background. "By our motherfucking product bitches~ It's positively, abso-fucking-lutely, fantastically, amazing-"

With an added choice of words here and there.

Pein covered his face with his hands as Deidara got up to leave and tripped over his own feet into the T.V. screen. "I'll think of something."

Konan eyed the mentally unstable men. "I would hurry if I were you..."

* * *

><p><strong>Monday 8:06 AM<strong>

**July 10th**

* * *

><p>"Morning Sasori," Pein greeted as he walked into the kitchen the next morning. He was dressed in a teal work shirt and black slacks, shuffling through a stack of papers. He noticed the stove was on but was unsure as to why. Sasori certainly didn't look like he was expecting to eat anything.<p>

The redhead waved in response, occupied with putting a puzzle together. Apparently it was supposed to be a clock. But what kind of clock had arms and a face? Especially a grinning one that stuck its tongue out?

Pein looked at Sasori in near disbelief and then shook his head. "What do you plan on doing when you're done with...that?" he asked with some difficulty.

The thirty-five year old spared him a glance. "A crossword puzzle and then bingo- why?"

Pein sighed in exasperation and opened his mouth to question the man's sanity, when Kakuzu ran in.

Looking as if someone were chasing behind with a pitchfork.

His suit was wrinkled and his eyes were bloodshot as he ran to the fridge and pulled out a water bottle to drink from. His papers were spilling out of his briefcase and his tie was halfway stuffed into his shirt.

"Are you alright?" Pein asked the flustered man.

"Yeah- fine," Kakuzu muttered. "I was supposed to be at work an hour earlier than usual and I completely forgot about it."

"Drive safely," Pein mumbled, highly doubting the lawyer would heed his warning.

"Hey Sasori-" Kakuzu said, looking very busy as he stooped down and tried to stuff all of his documents into his briefcase at once. "Could you turn off the stove? I kind of have my hands full and Hidan will throw a fit if his food gets burned."

"No."

Kakuzu felt an eye twitch as he stomped over to the stove and shut it off himself.

Sasori looked at the older man with a brow raised. "What's gotten you all frazzled today?"

"Nothing!"

Pein stared at Sasori as Kakuzu stormed out of the kitchen. "Listen up you," he sternly said. "This apartment will soon be empty and you'll be left here alone. While you're here, I expect you to vacuum the living room floor, clean the toilet, and cook dinner. If this isn't done by the time I get back, you'll be sleeping outside for the next few days- understood?"

Sasori waved a hand to show that he had heard, although the smirk on his face didn't reassure Pein one bit.

With a bad feeling in his gut, he left the room to get ready for a day of work in the high school he taught in.

Surely Sasori would be able to handle a few menial tasks...

Right?

~X~

Sasori ran the vacuum over the living room in boredom. It was tiring, annoying, and his head was beginning to hurt from the constant buzzing noise the machine created. Not only that, but he had to clean out the fireplace in the room too. It wasn't real seeing how they lived in an apartment with no chimney- but Hidan and Deidara took great fun out of setting fires in the thing anyway.

So there was a bunch of soot and ash inside.

Most of which was starting to build up and spill onto the living room carpet.

Sasori heaved a sigh, throwing his head back. "So. Much. _Work_!"

He unhooked the hose on the side of the vacuum quite violently in a miniature hissy fit before running it along the expanse of their tiny fireplace. There was a lot of soot... in fact... The redhead began to wonder if the vacuum would be able to hold all the stuff going inside the hose. After all- only the Lord knew what things Deidara and Hidan put in the damn thing.

Sasori furrowed his brows as the vacuum made an odd choking noise, pulling the hose out of the fireplace. "I hope this stupid thing didn't break-"

He jammed a button on the side with his foot and stared wide-eyed as the machine went into reverse, shooting thick plumes of soot and dust all over the furniture.

"...Whoops."

He quickly unplugged the vacuum.

Sasori stood in the center of the room for a few minutes before realizing he ought to make a decision. He started wrapping the vacuum cord back around the dysfunctional machine, humming under his breath absently. When Kakuzu and Pein came back, they were going to kill him. And so was everyone else for that matter. They now had no living room to lounge around in.

Well he could either spend several hours of his precious time scrubbing and digging the soot out of every nook and cranny of the sofa and carpet, or head off to the bathroom and try his luck with the toilet.

Now which one sounded better...?

Neither, to be honest. But he'd rather take a chance with the toilet than be stuck in a room full of dust and get his clothes damaged. Someone else with better cleaning experience could handle the dirty living room.

~X~

Fifteen minutes later he walked out the bathroom with his lower pants drenched in water and other substances which he really rather not think about.

He closed the door behind him and began heading for the kitchen.

"Stupid plunger," he muttered. "Getting stuck in the goddamn toilet."

~X~

Pein and eight others stared down at the plates that had been set on the kitchen table.

Sasori expectantly looked at them.

"..."

"..."

"What...the hell _is _this?" Kisame questioned, fork and knife poised in hand.

Sasori gave him a dark glare. "I cooked dinner, what else does it look like?"

"Shit," Hidan bluntly said.

Sasori glowered. "It took me several hours."

"You must have _really _been trying to kill us," Konan muttered, eyeing the weird looking substances on her plate.

"Seriously- what's in here?" Zetsu asked.

"Well I don't think it's that bad un," Deidara said, trying to be nice. He picked up a forkful of the lumpy, black, mushed mounds that were supposed to be mashed potatoes and shoved it in his mouth.

A second later he was running for the bathroom.

"If he dies, I am placing the blame on you fully," Pein dryly said, moving his plate away from him.

"Why are you getting on my case?" Sasori asked, a bit angrily. "You wanted me to cook so I did. You gave me a list of chores and I did the best I could. It's not my fault I've been out of practice for so long!"

"It's completely your fault," Itachi deadpanned.

"H-HOLY SHIT UN!"

Everyone's eyes snapped in the direction they heard the scream.

Kakuzu and Madara raised identical brows in question, getting out of their seats to check up on the blonde artist.

A moment later they were heard screaming too.

"SASORI!" Kakuzu roared.

"IT'S LIKE THE SEWAGE OF THE FRICKIN' TITANIC!" Madara cried.

Those in the kitchen turned accusing stares to the only redhead in their line of sight.

"It was the plunger!" Sasori defensively cried.

And after they found out what happened to the living room...

Well- needless to say they were never asking the man for a favor ever again.

* * *

><p><strong>Tuesday 6:46 AM<strong>

**July 11th **

* * *

><p>Deidara's alarm clock went off early that morning for several reasons.<p>

One: He had to get to the University early to help set up for the school festival.

Two: He needed to find his glasses which he misplaced the night before after spending the entire night hurling in their flooding bathroom.

And three: He just liked pissing Hidan off.

"Why the _fuck _is that alarm going off so early?" Hidan screamed from across the room.

Kisame merely plugged his fingers into his ears.

Deidara didn't bother to respond, sliding out his bed and stumbling for the door so he could start getting ready to leave. He missed and ended up sprawled across his neighbor's mattress.

Itachi took in a deep breath of air to restrain his anger before sitting up and pushing the blonde off of him. "Watch where you're going," he snapped.

"I _would _if I could see un," Deidara muttered, climbing to his feet and moving blindly around the room and out into the hallway.

Itachi watched him go before rolling his eyes and turning back over in his bed. He didn't have to drive the kid to Uni today since he was willingly choosing to take the bus. And now he had some extra time to sleep in before going to work. He laid quietly beneath his sheets before growling and throwing them off of him.

The alarm clock was still going off.

~X~

Kisame lifted a brow when he entered the kitchen about two hours later and found Deidara sitting at the table with a mug of hot chocolate.

In ninety degree weather.

"I thought you leaving early," Kisame said. He was dressed in a nice work shirt and pants, fixing a tie around his neck as he walked around the room for something quick to eat. "You know Itachi's not here to give you a ride."

"I know," Deidara said, adding a large marshmallow into his drink. "He told me he had to drop Madara and Zetsu downtown somewhere and wouldn't have time to take me un." The blonde wore an old pair of work jeans and plain shirt. If he was going to lounge around for a while, he'd do it in something comfortable.

"But why are you here?" Kisame questioned, opting to take a Poptart with him.

"The University called and said all morning classes were cancelled," Deidara replied with a frown. "Someone broke in and vandelized several of the classrooms and halls. So I'll have to try and get Sasori to take me in the afternoon hmm."

Kisame guffawed. "Have fun doing that," he said. "You know he's not allowed out of his room. And it's locked."

"I've picked locks before," Deidara absently said. "Don't worry un, I'll figure something out."

Kisame waved an arm behind him and started to leave the kitchen. "Well I'll see you later. Don't get into too much trouble," he said before he left.

Deidara dutifully bobbed his head before taking a big gulp of his beverage.

~X~

Sasori was in his room, bored out of his mind. Since yesterday, he hadn't been allowed to touch anything inside the apartment that was considered precious to anyone and was locked in his room by Madara just in case he 'gave into temptation and screwed them all over again'.

He supposed he was alone in the apartment, seeing as there had been no noise coming from any of the other rooms for nearly four hours.

Well... at least he had his books.

Sasori glanced out the window of his room just in time to see a familiar blonde run across the street and get hit by a two ton bus.

He had never run so fast out the apartment in his entire life since setting Kakuzu's pants on fire.

Good thing he secretly did workouts every Friday night.

~X~

Sasori walked across the room with a bag full of ice and ibuprofen in hand, a frown on his face. "So tell me why you were running across the street again?"

"I already told you twice un." Deidara glanced at him from the corner of his eye. "I wanted to get you to drive me to the Uni later on for my classes. But I figured I shouldn't bother you since you don't like to drive alot. I went to catch the bus afterwards un."

"Oh you caught it all right," Sasori muttered, handing the pills to the artist and sitting next to him on the bed he was laying in. "With your goddamn face."

Deidara rolled his eyes, careful to keep his head still. He had a pounding headache and sore body. "It's not like I did it on purpose. I just didn't see it coming."

Sasori stared at him as he swallowed the painkillers dry. "It's a giant bus. How the hell do you not see it coming?" he couldn't help but snap.

"I couldn't find my glasses un!" Deidara exclaimed as if defending himself.

"Do we need to get you a new pair of _eyes_?" Sasori uttered under his breath.

Deidara went on as if he hadn't heard. "And my contacts ran out about two days ago. I was going to ask Pein or Itachi to pick me up some, but I forgot because I was too busy worrying about you yeah!"

"I already told you morons not to worry about me," Sasori said. "But no one ever listens to anyone in this place! Tomorrow go buy your stupid contacts!"

"I will!" Deidara shouted before bringing a hand to his head. "Ow..."

Sasori scowled while placing the ice pack he held over the blonde's forehead. "You're a real idiot, you know that?"

Deidara suddenly grinned up at him. "And you're not so lazy when it comes to things that really matter," he snidely replied.

Sasori glowered before hitting him across the head. "Oh shut up."

Deidara laughed in pain while clutching his newly acquired bruise.

~X~

"Deidara did _what_?" Pein asked, blinking in disbelief at the redhead in front of him.

"I said he got hit by a bus today," Sasori repeated to the orange-haired man and six others behind him.

Itachi had already left to beat the blonde up.

"Is he okay?" Konan worriedly questioned.

Sasori shrugged. "He's sleeping so I wouldn't know. But the doctor said he'd be fine so I'm taking his word for it," he said.

Kisame stared at him. "The doctor? How would you know what the doctor said?"

"Because I drove the brat to the hospital to get checked up on," Sasori told him in a bored tone. "Is it that big of a deal?"

"Um _yeah_," Hidan sputtered from behind Kisame. "The hospital is, like, fucking an hour away! You hate driving for more than ten minutes!"

"Well whatever," Sasori said with a roll of his eyes. "It's done now and I'm going to take a nap. I think I've done enough work for one day." He turned around and left the living room, heading for his room after his tiresome day. As he walked down the hall, he could hear the sound of bickering coming from the room across from his.

"Ow! Why the hell did you kick me un?"

"Because you're an idiot! You left your glasses in the bathroom!"

"So that's where they were..."

"You always leave them there moron! Next time just put them on our desk."

"Since when can _you _tell me what to do Uchiha?"

"Since you decided to go off and get hit by a bus Iwa. Now shut up!"

Sasori snickered to himself and went to lay down on his bed for some much deserved rest.

Because he sure as hell wasn't doing _anything _tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>Wednesday 8:21 AM<strong>

**July 12th **

* * *

><p>No one was surprised the next morning when they saw the redhead lounging around on their newly installed sofa with a book.<p>

"Well at least he's not _totally _lazy," Kakuzu muttered as he walked past the living room and into the kitchen.

"I agree," Itachi said, looking up from where he sat at the table along with everyone else.

Kakuzu raised both brows when he saw what was on the table. A large assortment of waffles, pancakes, and toast on several plates- along with pitchers of orange juice and milk. There were other smaller plates with bacon, eggs, and sausage throughout the table.

Everyone looked quite content with stuffing their faces, clad in their pajamas and looking as if they had no intentions of leaving the apartment that day.

After what happened yesterday, Kakuzu wasn't surprised. "Where did all this food come from?" he asked with wide eyes.

Kisame looked at him from where he was stacking a mountain of pancakes on his plate. "Sasori bought it for us to make up for the screwed up bathroom and ruined living room," he said.

"He...bought it...?"

Hidan guffawed at the horrified look spreading across the older man's face. "Damn straight."

Kakuzu stared. "From where?"

"The Waffle House," Madara nonchalantly said, as if that restaurant _wasn't_ the most expensive breakfast house in the entire area.

Kakuzu's eyebrow violently quirked. "_All _of this...from the Waffle House...?"

Konan nodded.

"DAMN YOU SASORI!"

~X~

Sasori smirked from the other room, snickering under his breath as he turned to the next page in his book.

None of them needed to know he had _really _cooked that food early in the morning.

After all- he was quite the lazy guy.

And admitting it would be _such _a pain.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: See? Sasori's not so lazy after all. **

**He just likes to act like he is lol :P**


End file.
